A compendium of my thoughts at either 3 something or 4 something or 5 something....this whole Daylight savings time/non-Daylight savings time thing...

Ok, so I realize that this blog is not really taking off...I keep meaning to post, and then I either get tackled by 5 year olds wanting to use my computer to play online flash games, or I pass out. I'm going to treat this like someone beginning a new exercise routine...if you try to go balls to the wall at the beginning, you will never keep up with it...surely. SO, I'm going to make the effort to post everyday, but it will probably just be something small. For example - randomly weird Peruvian picture of the day, or...best poorly-translated phrase of the day....or SOMETHING! So as a catch-up, and since I've been asleep for 9 hours already but its only 4 or 5 or 3 (I only slept for 2 hours last night...and this is what it has done to me), I am going to just list a bunch of the thoughts I"ve been having over the past couple of days. Think of it as one of those quasi-annoying one-hit-wonder songs where it's just some guy talking over music...which at first you think is really great and then you hear it for the 50th time and you're like OMG THIS SONG BLOWS ASS. That being said, please only read this blog post at a MAXIMUM of 49 times. Thank you.

Pseudoephedrine is a wonderful drug. Can we have it back, please? My blog title in spanish: No puedo decirte donde estoy, pero estoy bien. I can't stand kids that breastfeed when they're like 2 years old. If you can talk, get off the tit...it creeps me out, and I feel like its just a desperate attempt from the mom to just preserve they're toddler in baby stage forever. Obviously, this is me just generalizing on a really annoying familiar example that I was subjected to today. Don't perpetually babytalk to your kid about how amazing they are in the company of others. They may want to peg you, and that would be bad, since they married into the family. In general, Peruvians over-coddle their kids - Belen (3) and Ignacio (5) are still spoonfed by a nanny. I MADE A FRIEND ON MY OWN! Her name is Joanna. She was the only other girl besides me to light her own cigarette...and it was a Marlboro Red. I received this text from her by the end of the night (~3:30 am): "We are going to Ica on Friday. It is so much fun (sun, food, drinks, everything!) My friends have a house there and our cousins already know...Let's gooooooooooooo!" At first I was intimidated by her because she was beautiful and clearly very badass, but via several duo bathroom breaks, dancing, and cigarette pandering, I realized she was nice and not a total bitch, like I peg every attractive girl as when I first meet her. Freshly-made pineapple juice - something everyone should have brought to their table for breakfast at least once. Every morning, the bread-man delivers a fresh bag of rolls and leaves it on the door handle for breakfast. Peruvian yogurt comes in liter-sized jugs and you either drink it or mix it with cereal. Instead of feliz-cumpleanos, people sing a bastardized version of "Happy Birthday"...like...HAPPPY BEEEERTTTDAYYY TOOO JEWWWWW....HAPPPPY BEEEEEERTDAY TOOO JEWWWW...Is it fucked up that I also sing it this way? I have also bastardized hot dog - "ho-do", Lazytown - "Laysee Tow", and the lyrics to ACDC's "You shook me all night long." Bastardized ACDC drunk is way better than normal ACDC sober. Also in my drunkenness, I kept saying YO SOY CAFE CON LECHE...to which my cousin would respond: NO, TU ERES NESQUICK CON LECHE. American 50's music is played in a lot of clubs/bars. I still don't understand this. I taught everyone how to do this twist last night - what a way to label myself. To be fair, it was from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack, which is at least obviously badass. During my first breakfast here, my cousin Belen spontaneously burst out into tears because she was afraid that baby Jesus would hate her forever and not let her into heaven because she didn't want to finish her milk. Living in the city is a bizarre experience for me. Every time I hear a phone ring, there's only a 10% chance that it is coming from this apartment. THANK YOU BABY JESUS FOR NEARLY-MANDATORY AIR CONDITIONING IN FLORIDA...it is probably what I miss the most from the US. You can never have too many varieties of potatoes. Dancing with cigarettes is dangerous...I started burning my cousins arm without even realizing it until he yelled. The only light in my room is a bare lightbulb on the ceiling, which never quite shuts off, it just flickers exponentionally less dimly, but never fully reaches 0. It's hard for my relatives to believe that I am considered to be a little shorty bit in the US. No one can fathom a man of Calder's stature. People want me to get married in Peru. Every fruit tastes better here. Hanging out with Leo and Rodolfo makes me wish I had gotten some brothers out of this whole family deal even more. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to have a Visa due to the amount of time I'm staying here, but I fudged a little on my immigration/customs forms.
Alright. Still not tired, but I'm going to try to go to sleep, since I'm going out to breakfast with Sambo tomorrow. I WILL UPDATE DAILY EVEN IF ITS REALLY SHORT, so please check/leave comments. It's good juju.